Sunday, May 6, 2007

Townsend Men Reunion

Last weekend, April 28-30, my brothers and I converged in Wichita, Kansas to bless Michael newest grandson, Bennet and to just get reacquainted. It was a good time and we all felt very blessed to be able to make it out there at such a beautiful season in Kansas.






I had only one paraplegic moment on the way out. I had to make a connection in Minneapolis. Unfortunately, the Salt Lake flight was 15 minutes late and I had to wheel, no joke, a mile from one gate to the next. With spasms stopping me every 100 yards or so, I wheeled up to the departure gate as the jetway was being pulled away from the plane. Crud! So I sat in the airport for seven hours for the next flight to Wichita. The real bad thing is that I missed the blessing of my new grand-nephew and just about a whole day with my brothers and Lisa.
Live and learn in this new life. But for all intents and purposes, this was the first travel experience that I did all on my own. But I still owe a lot to my brothers and sister, Lisa. They were accomodating and understanding of all of my little complications.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

My Wheelchair

I was going to attempt some poetry, under the title 'Ode to My Wheelchair'. But poetry is not one of my talents. So I'll stick to prose - which may or may not be one of my talents. ;)

I can't actually trace back to the moment I realized that life would be different because it would be life in a wheelchair. It was some time in the first two weeks though; some time in ICU. There came a time when I just wanted to get up and go outside. The overwhelming feeling is this: "I CAN'T MOVE!"

In my particular case, I can't move anything below my chest. I have full function in my arms. But I can't situp or roll over without the use of my arms. And of course, I can't ambulate (walk) at all. But I can move around in this world using my arms - in a wheelchair. So with this realization and the first opportunity I got, I was hoisted into my first wheelchair.
The pink chair Ellen is sitting in was the first one I rode in that could be considered a wheelchair. I rode in it the day before this picture was taken - they day before I left ICU for rehab.
It can lay flat like a bed. In fact, that's how they got me into it. Very much like a bed to bed transfer. Then they sat me up to about a 45 degree angle and pushed me outside onto second story balcony. Unless Greg has something, I don't have any documentation of that event. But it was so nice to just breathe outside early spring air.

After I moved to the rehab center, I got to try an actual wheelchair with big wheels that I could push myself. You'll notice that the similarity in both the pink chair and this one is that they recline. This was necessary because I didn't have any upright tolerance yet. Basically, if I sat up for more that two or three minutes, I would pass out.







After this recliner chair did it's job for about three days, we started working with a chair that is more similar to mine now. The difference is that it was much heavier and could actually fold up like regular hospital wheelchairs that most people are familiar with.

As you can see in this picture, it was in this chair that I got to make my first visit home. The hope was that the width of this chair would be about the same as my long term chair. So I tried it out on the main for of the house. This is when we discovered that we would have to finish the new bedroom before I could come home and stay the night: the chair could not fit through the door of the half bath on our main level.

The next chair I borrowed was to be mine for about four months. It didn't quite fit me. But it is an actual every day chair that many paralyzed people use every day. It's a rigid frame wheelchair just like mine today. That means that only the wheels come off, the back of the seat folds down and the cushion comes out. It is also very light - about 22lbs.


I made my way around the world in this chair until I got my current, custom chair that was made just for me.


















I remember sitting in my hospital bed reading about different wheelchair types, options, pros and cons. I looked at different wheel construction, braking systems and tires. I talked to a couple guys that visited me about their chairs. Then one day, I realized I was getting a little bit excited about getting a new chair just for me. Never before in my life had I imagined, I would become an expert in wheelchair design. I never thought this piece of equipment would be important to me. And this is the center of the conflict about my wheelchair.


The wheelchair is the central symbol of disability. You see it on signs. You see it as an icon on web sites. You see it on my license plate. The white symbol on a blue background is to many, the first and only thing some people will know about me when they see me driving down the road or see my car parked in the Wal*Mart parking lot. It is a label that I would like to live beyond. It is this set of stereotypes to which people refer when they lovingly say, "I don't even notice your wheelchair, Steve." But the reality is that my wheelchair is part of my and my family's life. And it is a tremendous blessing.


My wheelchair is the answer to that terrible feeling that I had in ICU: "I CAN'T MOVE!" "I'm trapped!" "I'm paralyzed!" But with the wheelchair next to my bed, I can sit myself up, transfer to my wheelchair and go just about every place you can go. I can wheel to my car, climb in and drive just about every place you can drive. Then I can put my wheelchair together, transfer to it from the car and go everywhere you can go. This is especially true in the United States where most public places and many private places are wheelchair accessible. And when I get stuck, as has been known to happen, you help me. I am so grateful to each of you for your help in these situations. And I am very grateful for my wheelchair.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Housekeeping post

Just a couple items that I should note about this new blog.
  • I have enabled anonymous commenting. That means anyone can comment without having a google account.
  • However, in order to prevent comment spam, you'll have to successfully enter the word challenge. I hope that won't be too much of a pain for you. It's just supposed to be a pain for blog spam bots that seem to like to attack townsendnews.com
  • Comments should show up immediately. In the past, I had to 'moderate' the comments so garbage posts didn't offend everyone. So your comments would sit in a bucket waiting for me to approve them.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Some recent pictures of the Townsend Family






It's been a while since I posted any pictures out here. So here are a few.

















This was on February 4th right after church. I'm noticing that my eyes aren't smiling in this picture. I've noticed that without any cardiovascular workout, I am very tired a lot of the time.


















This is our Adam on MORP (<-> Prom). Four couples came over, including Natalie and her date, and Adam cooked dinner for them. Since the injury, Adam has become the designated grill master. Hamburgers were the on for this night, at Natalie's request. But he excels at steak and marrinated chicken as well.

One Year Anniversary Summary

Well, hello everyone, after a long absence. It's been so long that townsendnews.com expired. And a squatter grabbed it! Shoot. I'm going to try grab all of the content from the old host and bring it forward here.

I have received a few emails in the last two weeks from friends around the world. I feel bad for not posting an entry. That first weekend was very busy. We actually had a party with some friends and family that were there in the hospital the first night. It was really fun. But alas that weekend, ended up being really busy so I couldn't post. And given the difficult of writing the "Open letter to Novell" the night before, I knew it would take a while. That email actually took me an hour to write. Go figure. I think some of it was that it is hard to write about personal things to a known broad audience. And some of it was that I wanted to be brief but communicate three things: gratitude, current status and bring to memory to events that transpired for many of us a year ago.

Responses to that email and other emails I have received over the last two weeks have been very kind and supportive. There were a few that have been more about the new perspective people have gained after considering "What would I be like if this happened to me?" This is really what I have been contemplating these last couple of weeks.

Having been paralyzed for a year now, all of us have passed one instance of each of the holidays and celebrations that occur annually. And there are a few that are still to come because I was in the hospital when they came and went. The first of these was Novell Brainshare. Within the next two weeks, we'll pass Adam's birthday and Easter. But throughout the year, there have been birthdays, Ellen and my wedding anniversary, Christmas, the New Year, Halloween, Valentine's Day and everything else. I can't say that each was celebrated with total acceptance of our new life. You just can't help recalling previous celebrations. Valentine's Day and our anniversary was particularly weird for Ellen and I. Ellen, of course, was very kind and loving on Valentine's Day. She sent some flowers to Novell that still sit on my little conference table. I tried to do the most most cliche Valentine's that I possible could. It was my way of saying, "See I'm still just like 80% of every other man in the world." So I had 12 dozen red roses delivered and hand carried chocolates in a heart shape box to her after work. It was fun. But what still pained was that I have not found a viable substitute for dancing. This is really what she wants. Any ideas anyone?

I'll post a few more over the weekend. What would you like to hear about? What are you just dying to know about? Here's some potential topics:

Ode to my wheelchair
How do the hand controls work in the Subaru?
How do you get dressed?
What about the spasms after a year?
What's next for rehabilitation?
Update on the new house.
How are the teenagers doing?
What about the younger kids?
What do some people say that really bugs you?
What do some people say or do that you really like?
More pictures.

Feedback welcome.

-Steve

Open Letter to Novell

March 9, 2007

Friends,

It was one year ago today that I walked out of this building for the last time. I would learn later how you each learned of the accident and what your feelings and reactions were. What I saw, and will always cherish, was the immediate, personal and collective responses that, in many ways, saved me and my family.

That initial support and caring for your injured friend has changed and progressed as my condition has changed and progressed. Your gifts, cards, letters, hospital visits, prayers and faith are forever with me in my heart and memory (and a couple big scrapbooks!) But what has truly changed me is the love and acceptance you show to me as I wheel around amongst you every day.

After one year of living with paralysis, my family and I are approaching a new normal. Changes and adjustments are smaller and less frequent. I am expecting that elements of grief will linger for a while longer as various elements of loss are briefly brought into the foreground. But beside those few light shadows, the landscape of my life is filled with happiness and evidence that life is worth living to the fullest - even if I live it sitting down.

With Warm Regards,
Steve Townsend